Let's Talk About: Being Honest

This is a recent email I sent to my ex...pretty self-explanatory.



Sorry it's taken me a few days to actually sit down and write to you since I initially warned you. I've been thinking long and hard about what to say to you but I still do not know. I thought for sure something would've struck me by now but alas, no such luck.

I don't think we are wrong in our recent decision not to speak to one another (whether we both agreed to it or if it just happened). Although I miss hearing from you, I do not believe our continued communication helped either one of us really get over the other. If I'm putting words in your mouth, feel free to let me know but this was always the impression I received from you.

I regret my rude comments the last time we spoke (which I barely remember) but I assume I probably said something I felt needed to be said. I still love you and still wish you the best but I think it has become rather apparent a relationship between us is not plausible at this point in time due to distance and etc.

I do not regret, however, a single moment I spent with you. For the rest of my life men will be held to a different standard. (I've yet to discover whether that's going to seriously limit my selection but it could only be for the best. lol) I am not sure I will ever find someone who seemed to understand me as well as you did. That being said...

I was unreasonably hurt to discover you were seeing someone else. I have been seeing other people but felt as if you were already getting serious with someone else. I know that the degree to which you're involved with someone doesn't really matter...I mean, none of it should matter to me anymore. As much as you've probably always hated me comparing our relationship to that of mine and Austin's, this too is similar to how I acted after we split. Even though I attempted (and failed miserably) to find someone to treat me as well as he did, I was too jealous to maintain a friendship with him while he did the same.

For this reason, I think our lack of communication is for the best. Had I had the balls, I would've decided this a long time ago. I severely underestimated my own immaturity. You, of all people, do not deserve such jealousy from a girl who is too foolish to know her own heart. Although I will undoubtedly question my decision to not be with you, I will do my best to remind myself that you deserve better than I could possibly offer you at this time...or perhaps ever.

Please know if you ever need anything in the entire world, I will be more than willing to assist in any way possible.

I will miss you everyday.